Cheating

It seems that nowadays, everyone is cheating. Either on their husband/wife, fiance, boyfriend/girlfriend. Why is this? Does EVERYONE cheat? Are people not able to devote themselves to just one person anymore? And how do you know if you're being cheated on? What do you do when you find out that the person you love has been cheating?

There are many different reasons as to why a person cheats. Most of the time, it has nothing to do with developing feelings for another, but more about fulfilling desires and needs that may be lacking in a current relationship. For example, a person may be feeling unloved or not appreciated in their current relationship, so they look for it elsewhere. But this is not a valid excuse to cheat. If you're current spouse/partner is not giving you the love and attention that you feel is needed, you should try to talk it out with them and let them know how you're feeling. Going behind their back and cheating isn't going to make you feel any better in the long run, only worse.

Another main cause of cheating, surprising enough, is low self esteem. A person with low self esteem never thinks they are worth much of anything, doesn't appreciate themselves. So when a member of the opposite sex aside from their current partner begins to take notice of them, they feel special and fortunate, like they are worth something after all. They enjoy the feeling of being wanted by another person, and a lot of the time, this will lead to cheating. This will especially happen with married women, who have children and no longer feel attractive.

Some people will cheat just to boost their ego. I've known many people who cheat for this reason, and this reason alone. They love the person that they are with, but having multiple sexual partner makes them feel good about themselves, like they've conquered some sort of contest. They thrive off of knowing that they are wanted by many, and they become addicted to it. Most of the time, these people don't feel anything besides lust and satisfaction for their multiple sexual partners, but they are unable to stop it. They also love the rush they get from their partner potentially finding out about their cheating habits. It becomes a game to them, one that they thrive on playing. If they do get caught, they laugh it off and make it sound like it's not a big deal and that they are doing nothing wrong. Stay away from these types of cheaters! They are the ones who never change their bad cheating habits.

Some will also cheat for revenge purposes. Maybe you have cheated on them in the past, and they were able to forgive you and continue working on the relationships. Or maybe, they just suspect you of cheating. They get mad because you spend a little too much time with a friend of the opposite sex, or spend too much time out with your buddies. As a result, they will go out and cheat so that they feel the satisfaction of knowing they are getting revenge on you. They may never even tell you about their infidelity, but just knowing themselves is enough satisfaction for them.

How can you know for sure that your partner is cheating on you? Well, unless you get real evidence of it, you won't know for sure. But there are signs that your partner may be cheating. The major one, in my own experience, would be if they are constantly accusing YOU of cheating. Have they normally always been a calm, trustful person, and all of a sudden constantly accusing you of cheating, wanting to know where you are at every second of the day? If so, this could be a major sign that they are being unfaithful. When a person is being unfaithful, their guilt starts eating at them, and they convince themselves that if they are capable of cheating, you probably are doing the same thing. Another major sign would be that they stop showing affection towards you. You are no longer there one and only, and they get and give their affection and intimate needs from someone else. They don't feel the need to give it to you, because they feel as if they already have you, so why bother? And then, there are the most obvious signs; disappearing for hours at a time, not able to give you a clear answer on where they've been, changing their stories around, acting distant, pushing you away, etc.

So is the common phrase, "once a cheat, always a cheat" true? Absolutely not. Depending on the reason for them being unfaithful to begin with, there are ways to work through it and trust them fully again. However, it's not an easy task. Some people would rather just give up than allow themselves to trust the person again. However, if the love is strong enough, and you know in your heart that the person is truly sorry and remorseful, you should stay and work on giving them another chance. Everyone makes mistakes, it's a part of life. Just as long as you don't forget, the same mistake shouldn't be made twice.